Grandma or the Quilt!

Once upon a time there was a grandma who decided she was going to start sewing her grandchildren quilts for their beds...not just any quilts, but quilts filled with lots of love.  How hard could it be??!!  She decided to start with her granddaughter's quilt first.  She asked her granddaughter, Annika, what was her favorite color.  "Purple," exclaimed Annika.   So Grandma Pat set out to the fabric store.  Upon entering the fabric store, Grandma Pat was in absolute awe looking at all of the rows of bright colored fabric and touching all of the beautiful patterns and colors.   Grandma Pat didn't have a clue how much fabric to buy so she just purchased three yards of every pattern and color.  Now for a quilt pattern (she didn't realize that you buy the pattern first and it would tell you how much fabric to buy!). She went over to the quilting section and after thorough examination of the patterns, Grandma Pat decided they looked too complicated and she didn't have a clue how to read the patterns, so she decided she would "wing" that part and make up her own pattern.  After all, how hard could making a quilt be?? (Ya right!).   She ambled out of the fabric store feeling very happy and content.  As she was sitting on the couch that evening, she decided she should started watching quilting shows to get advice and learn a few things.  While watching the experts on these quilting shows, Grandma decided she needed more information on how to sew the quilt for her granddaughter, so she went into Helen's Fabrics and learned there was a quilt club in Morris.  How lucky could she be!  She quickly called one of the members and asked to join.  After all, how hard could quilting be??  For her first class in quilting, Grandma Pat brought her sewing machine to the morning quilting class.  She came into the class feeling apprehensive but excited because after all, how hard could quilting be??  She proceeded to sit down at a table and the instructor told her to put the quilting foot on her machine so she could quilt.  Grandma Pat looked at the instructor with horror.  She felt like a deer with headlights shining in her eyes.  She didn't have any idea what piece of equipment the instructor was telling her to put on her machine.  What was she going to do!  Grandma Pat quickly scanned the class trying to find someone who had the same sewing machine.  Luckily, she found a fellow quilter and learned what the quilting foot looked like.  One hurdle gone, onto another.  The instructor proceeded to teach how to "meander" on a quilt. Grandma Pat didn't even know what the word meant let alone how to do it!   She was feeling a little overwhelmed at this point but figured everyone was in the same boat and she would need to know this information if she was going to continue to sew her granddaughter's quilt.  After breaking two needles and almost having one of the needles go through grandma's finger, she finally got the skill of "meandering" on a quilt.  Actually, she was quite good!  After all, how hard can quilting be??!!  After the class Grandma Pat went home and continued sewing on her quilt.  Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months.  Grandma Pat lovingly sewed her granddaughter's quilt every available minute thinking to herself, "How hard can quilting be???"  One day Grandma Pat decided to measure the quilt on the twin bed.  She gazed at it in horror as the quilt was too long and narrow and out of proportion!  How was she going to make the quilt wider for the bed?  She couldn't just sew the sides.  She knew she had to sew in equal portions around the quilt.  Hmmmm...time to call another quilter so Grandma Pat got out the old, trusty telephone book and started dialing for help!  Another quilter from the quilting club came over and proceeded to figure out the dimensions she should have for the quilt and how to proceed.  After all, how hard can quilting be???  After two hours of excruciating calculations, both grandmas came up with a solution and Pat proceeded to lovingly begin sewing her granddaughter's quilt again.  After all, how hard can quilting be??  The moral of this story is to keep going on any project in our lives even though there are obstacles. These are the goals and projects we have set out to do in life. Put your head down and stick to the task. You become a better person and learn through these challenges in life.  You arrive at your chosen goal or destination and feel a sense of accomplishment.  After all, how hard can life be??  

Another widow is born

As I slowly turned the chilly door knob of the funeral home to go to Dave Schmidgall's visitation, all of the memories came back of four years ago when I was in the same place as Janet (Dave's widow).  A shudder came over me and I took a deep breath.  This was going to be very difficult.  Dave was 50 when he died; Tom, my husband, was 53.  Not much difference in age but thankfully, our children were grown.  

As I meandered through the visitation line waiting to wish my condolences to the family, I stood by a neighbor who asked me, "How are you?"  Instinctively, I told him that "I was good."  I didn't tell him that I dreaded being in this funeral home because it brought back so many sad memories.  I tried to concentrate on Janet and her children, but my mind would wander again to four years ago.  I thought of all of the long hours Janet and her children would be standing in line with all of the people.  I knew the faces would become blurred, names would go through Janet's head but later she wouldn't remember everyone who was there because of the suddenness and shock of Dave's death.  I knew Janet was trying to be strong for Rachel and Martha and yet grieve for her lost husband.  Janet would no longer have a partner who knew what she was thinking before she said it.  She would no longer have a husband to share things about their children.  She could no longer call her husband on the phone to share info about the kids and little things that were happening. The loneliness would be a big factor, too.  Her soul mate had died and taken a piece of her hearth with him.  

As I was deep in thought, I suddenly realized it was my turn now to go through the line of family and wish them my deepest sympathy.  As I approached Ruth Ann, Janet's sister and my daughter's lifelong friend, I could see she was crying. I pulled her close and gave her a big motherly hug wishing I could take away the pain from this family.  As I moved up the line, I approached Karen, Janet's mom, who opened up her arms and gave me the biggest hug.  She whispered in my ear, "You know how it is."  I just shook my head up and down.  I couldn't speak because I did know how it was and a tear slowly began running down my cheek.  As I quickly brushed the tear away, I thought of how I have survived without my husband and the loneliness that is always there.  Janet will feel this loneliness, too, but she will cope as I do each day.  She will keep moving on in life for her children and herself.  Slowly time will heal a part of her heart that is raw and hurting.

I know God is there for Janet, her children and her family.  Karen, Janet’s mom, explained it better than anyone could.  She said, “God has a reason for this.”  Maybe someday people will figure it out and understand why God works in mysterious ways.   I know God’s love will give Janet and her family inner peace and help them move on in life.   God does things in HIS time, not ours and we must understand this in order to find that inner peace that everyone longs for and truly does exist.